Pheonix....A new Identity

In Greek Mythology  the Phoenix is a symbol or rebirth and regeneration where it obtains  a new life from the ashes of the past.Many of us have suffered some sort of trauma or hurt in our past .While browsing through the old post part of me wanted to just remove it from the site because as many of you reader do not know.. my last relationship ended....fatal...in this case  not literally but tragically where both parties are at different healing  levels .Some questions were left unanswered and quiet frankly... its for the best.. However after my last conversation with my ex I realized that I had grown.I was no longer the little meek woman who could not defend herself.I wasn't the door mat of mental and emotional abuse nor was I the pathetic girl  played the suicide card to get attention.Im speaking to you all real here..because I am just that.. a human being with real emotions even though many of them are pathetic and pitiful.But from then on I grew......I was no longer trapped in my ashes.

I became the Phoenix  coming out to the ashes and ready to take flight.


I found myself  following the teaching of Buddhist  and some practices of Hinduism.... Buddhism has its perks.... ive learnt to deal with the four noble truths  which are ( Dukkha/suffering as being  an inherent part of existence) Sumudaya (the cause of suffering is desire.Nirodha ( Suffering  can be ended  by detached  oneself) Magga ( the  Eightfold path  to eliminate desire and overcome  the ego).Everyday  I say the heart chakra  mantra ..Om Mani Padme Hum  it helps me to  keep calm and think about my actions before I  do them.It's a prayer I say to God asking him  to help me in my paths . To this I use a Japa mala  which  has 108  beads all use to help me say this prayer 108 times.In Hinduism  the Guru Gita  is used to worship the Guru or   teacher in this case its to focus on God and having your heart reverend to  him.It quiet long and almost (to me) impossible to concentrate on so I like to dedicate it to someone I  care about .Sometimes that person is myself.This is so because at times,I think that no one else  needs the help more than I do..

 Its 2013 .... The more I see the more I learn , the more I feel the more I over come, the more I observe the more I understand.I thank God  that I have been through what I did..I heard a saying that if God didnt think you were capable of  handling and overcoming a situation he wouldnt have  given it to you in the first place.I think I really needed to walk through that fire  to become who I am now.The person I was back then.. was weak, and would have been destroyed easily in this new year .Coming to think of it  I think at the end of it I became a woman.I became a new person equipped to deal with whatever  comes my way... this is me... sprung from the ashes of my past... Phoenix

This my love I dream for you...

Looking at the stars, one can only wonder where life would take us....
Sometimes we may look at the stars and think" is my heart and soul out there"....
Time may not always show us destiny....
But destiny has a way of showing up on your door step....when you least expect it.
Never in my dreams would I believe that someone would be just like me...
But out of nowhere you come... and change my world around..
Make me a happier person..make me love you in ways that leave even me dumbfound...
I can feel in my soul that in the future... you would still hold my heart... and like always we would still be perfect....
Your the one who holds my heart.. and when you kiss me I feel closer to you.. It's not just your lips I embrace but your soul that comforts mine...
I'm here to hold your hand.. no matter what life throws at us..
And when your scared I'll calm you, comfort you in every way that I can..Bring a smile your face.. and bring the light to your dark side..
Lord alone knows the meaning of eternity.. but no matter the time I desire to spend it with you..And pray to God as my witness that I get a chance to never stop loving you.
In arms is where you will be..Through happiness and sorry... and as the days turns to night ...I'll comfort your heart...and sooth your soul...
No matter.. where life takes us.. these are just my dreams in my heart.. that I can be yours forever ..and never drift apart.
They say young love never last forever.. But this my love I say to you...This is my chance to prove ..my undying love you to..
And so never fear to be lonely.. or wonder what your days will be like.. for not even we have the answer..only the Lord above...
If miracle do come through.. And prayers get answered from above...Ill see you at the end of these long years.. for our love has just begun...
And I'll tell you I love you...When life isnt fair...And we will face the world together...In my heart I can feel this..You are my one true Love...
In the end of these Long yours,my better half you are, this is true..For this is my love story.. That I may someday read to you...

Into the future.....with you!

Life is one rollercoaster..like a gumball machine ..you never know what colour candy you may get.
But with you...life is like squishing your toes in ice cream.... so many chills.
Like kissing in the rain...sitting on an apple tree..feeling the cool sensation ....
When you kiss me ...feels like walking on the clouds.. I love when you hold me...You complete my world.
You never know the best till you have it.. or what it feels like to be whole till you find your missing piece.
Just the way you are ,makes me in complete aww of you.I admire your personality, your strength and the calmness you bring to my life.I may not be a super hero but I know that i'll always be there for you.No matter what the world throws at you, you know that i'm your girl..At times I know I can be unruly but somehow you calm my soul.Thank you for being with me..
So even though life may be a rollercoaster.. once u hold my hand, no matter the candy once you share it with me...maybe we'll squish our toes in a tub of ice cream and kiss in the rain ,maybe we'll sit on an apple tree and i'll hold you tight... I love you no matter the reason..till the end of time..

The Struggle In life is Hard....

To me, the life that we live often throws many challenges at us.And it can sometimes seem that no matter what we do or where we go these obstacles in life seem to follow us.I have come to realize that each new day is a day of progress.I once knew a girl who's parents were very loving to everyone else but her.. and every time she and I had a chat she would tell me about all the terrible things they told her about herself..That no matter how much she achieved they would never recognize anything that was great in her life..Till recently i met up with this friend of mine and I asked her how her life was .She told me that she is doing really great at her school and she is taking care of herself better than she did before.So i asked her...hows life with the parents..she replied to me..it's the same as before and perhaps the words towards me have gotten colder.It then prompt me to inquire...How do you progress if the life at home is worst...My friend smiled and replied.. Every stone they throw at me i step on it..if they tell me i cant do it.. i use that rage of being told i cant ..to can!Everything they told me i cant do..is now a CAN in my life.I dnt know about you guys but after hearing that story its hard not to think that the hardest struggles in life sometimes becomes the best!

Power...

Sociologist Marx Weber once said "the change of a man or the number of men realize there own will in a communal action even against the resistance of others whoa re participating in the action"( Weber in Gerth and Mills,1948,pg180 by this it is said that the power of the individual is the ability to resist and conquer when others oppose our views.Sometimes the world is against our thoughts, our views,even our beliefs.Perhaps we do not conform to the norms of society.Maybe we are conservative in a spontaneous society ..does this make us a freak.Maybe we are expressive in a reserved world,does this make us an outcast.No! if we hold strong to who we are inside,we can achieve the power to be free.The power of life in itself a challenge,but we must ace it headstrong.Only then can we experience the true nature of power..

Heal the world... Make it a better place... thank you M.J

He graced the stage with his music at the young age of 5,entertained us with his * kicking moves* and captivated us with his sweet angelic voice.As the years gone by he captured our every essence of curiosity.Micheal Jackson is not just the king of pop but the king of legends.Without him many of our gladiators of music would not have a foundation.Songs such as Thriller,Billy-Jean,and Beat it were the soundtracks to our grooves of life.The song Man in the Mirror and the Earth song..run deep.Today he no longer grace our presence.May he Rest In Peace ...that's what they say..Then tell me why is the ugly side of his life is being advertised to make money...paternity tests being done on his children...his hurtful past being exposed...
Many of us criticize Micheal Jackson for being weird.Down to the colour of his skin, his facial features,his dress and even the way he acts is scrutinized.Do you now see why he hides himself from the eyes of the public.Im sure many of us reading this right now would not like our ever move and flaws demeaned world wide.Micheal Jackson has paved the road of musical history for and and this is how we repay the King of Legends,by slandering his good name after he is gone.It saddens my heart to hear the disgusting criticism he faced at the hands of those who were ignorant to having an open mind to life.Micheal Jackson was robbed of his childhood and sought to gain it back when he was finaly free from his father.He enjoyed the company of those who were innocent and backstabbed by those hungry for something he worked hard to accomplished.He was a friend to those who were sick and like any child would do anything to help those in need.
In order to understand Micheal we should think innocently .Perhaps it is we ourselves who need to be secure with ourselves and cleanse our mind of such perverted thoughts.He was simply a child at mind and was inhumanly attacked by those who envied him.On the topic of paternity test... It does not matter if biologically the children wasn't his...to many of those who are adopted, are your non-biological parents less of a parent than the ones who made u.Micheal Jackson was the King of Legends who gave us so much .To those who have disgraced his name...well you have not won the battle because Micheal Jackson rests firmly in our hearts..loved by many respected by all.....As the old saying goes * its better to die young than fade out.....the Legends still lives on.

The freedom of Happiness

If i could change my past to anything different,i wouldn't change it for the world. People come from all walks of life..who we are is all unique .Doesn't matter how bad or great our lives are we are all equal.Some of us sit and ponder why life is so cruel,but have we ever thought about how many people in the world are suffering.
I believe that for us to be truly be happy with life we must accept who we are,our past our present and make it a good future.In an episode in Madea's Family Reunion ,Madea said"....its not what people call you but what you answer to"
The true test of time is strength,strength to endure all life has to throw at us,The ups,the downs.....Acceptance is the first step to crossing mountains.No matter how difficult life gets we must always keep our chins up.Breaking free from our struggles is not always easy.No matter where we came from"...the journey is more important than the end or the start"